Dear Diary,

Should I even be writing this?,
Because I don't even know what I really want now;
Everything suddenly becomes so pointless,
even LIVING by itself seems meaningless, let alone LOVING.
I thought I knew what I wanted.
The idea, the concept, the notion of life, the path of it, ALL of it
seemed to stare at me with almost mocking lucidity.
nothing seems to work, nothing;
People tell me that screwing up real badly is a part of life;
and I think, "Yup, and that sucks."
But I think differently now.

Screwing up badly IS life;

and that sucks. Big time.


Well, people still got to think positively,


all for something is better that all for nothing.




I think what I need now is a hug;





-not those kind of happy-happy hugs when some huge feat you've accomplished is worth celebrating;

-not those kind of just-for-fun overbearing suffocating bone-crushing hugs, the kind that Lok Lam gives (not that he broke any of my bones);




It's the comforting, consoling type of hug, the warm, kind and understanding one that really signifies that the other truly knows what you're going through, those emotional throes, woes and what-nots.


Don't ask me about that Binomial Theorem test, it makes me feel worse. Something that can go under the category of All For Nothing.



stupid x^10.